My history

1968 I was born

1970 dad picked up as peeping tom, released with warning

1971 dad started having affairs

1973-4 Kindergarten dad attempted to rape best friend's mom when we helped them move

1975 I took up Clarinet to be included and get approval from dad, it doesn’t work

1976 Dad threatens to kidnap 2 of my cousins if mom leaves him

1977 School counselor writes on my permanent record “this child is being abused by a male member of her family, somebody should do something” but there is no department of child services yet, so nobody does. My grades drop. I begin showing signs of chronic depression.

1978 I joined a swim team be included and get approval from dad, it doesn’t work

1979 I took up Oboe and Alto Sax be included and get approval from dad, it doesn’t work

1982 I step on a sewing needle which lodges in the third metatarsal of my left foot. Surgery to remove it takes 3 hours. Dad makes me work for his tree service despite Dr's orders and rat feces from Palm tree gets through socks. Staff infection sets in. I am house bound for 3 months. I have to quit swim team; I fail core classes for my freshman year. Dad keeps cakes and sweets around so he can verbally abuse me for gaining weight. Dad makes me social outcast by asking girl from my drama club if he can lick ice cream out of her belly button. Word gets around school. I am social pariah.

1984 First date, Ken. Not comfortable in social situation. Don’t go on another date for over a year.

1985 Start dating again

1986 Graduated High School. My first love starts sleeping with a co-worker a week after telling me he wants to marry me. I try to keep it together, be social, and keep dating.

Parents announce divorce on my 18th birthday. Mom starts drinking. When drunk she talls me stories of father's abuse, him causing several of her 7 miscarraiges, him abusing Kari and I. When she's sober she denies it all and accuses me of making it all up.

Friends of the family will let us know about dad’s attempts to rape members of their family during mom’s marriage in a steady trickle for the next 15 years. Same story every time; didn’t press charges because I didn’t want to hurt Donna and the girls. I break off all romantic ties, I am abusive bitch to every guy to ask me out unless he is abusive enough to verify my father's brainwashing.

1990 Went on mission. 18 monthes away to clear out my head around people that had never heard of my father did me a world or good but I started passing out at random times. Dr. confirms that I have a kink in my carrotid artery but is unable to trace it because my skull is too hard to ultrasound through - don't think me mom didn't run with that joke.

1992 Married first husband Foredoomed to failure

1994 Gave birth to Kirk - he makes everything I've gone through worth it.

1998 Divorce first husband, got to work at GTE and meet Chris there.

1999 Oct 14 Elevator in GTE building Malfunctions permanently injuring myself and Marcia - coworker and friend.

2000 Married Chris. Chris has his problems but he and I talk for hours on end, philosophy, religion, medicine, gaming, After 9 years we still talk like that. We are an excellent match. Because of my injury I am unable to work so we have been below the poverty line our entire marriage. The stress gets to us at times but our marriage is strong and our love is still uncompromised.

2004 Gave birth to Jenny

2006 Gave birth to Christine, Chris Disabled.

2009 declared permanently emotionally disabled by SSI

2012 Gave birth to Emily

2014 Lost home in Oxnard, Homeless for 6 months, Moved to apartment in Thousand Oaks

2015 Death of Donna - my mother

2017 Death of Christopher Gattis - My Beloved Spouse